Speak Anyway

Finding connection in the normal things of life.

After slipping a blue fleece over my upper torso, it draped pass my waist covered in grey jeans. Wool socks pulled over the jeans leg. Ugg boots covered the socks. An off white North Face fluffy jacket pulled from a hanger. I slipped my arm in swinging it across my back. In the empty sleeve my left arm slipped.

The weekend was full. It was fast. It's gone.

It's Monday morning.

"It's not cold outside," my daughter commented.

"Go crank the car." "Turn on our seat warmers," I told her.

Normal morning drop off routine, I stopped in the carpool line. She grabbed her book bag getting out. Around the edge of the school my car wheeled. Stopped. Looked both ways, turned right up the hill. The car wheels rolled towards the red light.

Thoughts of informing my other daughter to let our elder dog out swished in my mind. The light turned green. The gas pedal pressed by the weight of my foot. Down the road, I pulled my wheels right turning in Walmart. Once parked, I texted my daughter to inform her to let the dog out.

Glancing over the grocery list, I then slipped it in my purse. The pencil tossed in on top.

I walked through the cold. Glass doors slid opened upon approach. Both hands slipped on the front of a buddy. A small tug it separated from the other buggy's. A white sanitizing napkin peeked out from a container. My left hand pulled one placing it on the front buggy bar. Wiped. A trash bucket below, I tossed the napkin. I made my way down the aisles. Light pencil marks slashed through things on my list.

Stockman and stock women covered most aisle I walked.

Awkward silence lanced the air between us.

Jesus juices rush through my veins. I spoke to each stock person. Faces lite-up. Smiles formed. Words spoke back. Life formed. Their souls left enlightened for a better day.

A buggy full. A list crossed through. I turned on register 8. A lady paying for her items. Both of my hands tossed items on the stopped belt as fast as I could. When the lady left, I spoke to the cashier first. I walked the big paper towel and toilet paper bundles over to her. With her mobile scanner she scanned the bar code. As she continued scanning, I placed full bags in my buggy.

Paid.

She loaded the rest of my buggy.

Got my receipt.

Told the cashier, I hoped she had a wonderful day. On to gripping the buggy pushing it forward. I heard the cashier speaking to the next customer who was behind me.

See. The ripple was contiguous. I spoke. Even though she didn't first. Her soul was enlightened. She spoke first.

May we speak first regardless if not spoken too?

Let's make a difference.

Let's be the day game changer.

Let the Jesus juices flow.

Happy Monday.

May your day be bright.

Flip a Coin

Wrestling with God makes for tasty conversations.

The Lord gives us visions of new things for our future. He wants us to talk with Him. He wants to discuss new things headed our way. This allows us to break-through the small things. Small things along the way non-worthy to Him or not representative by His plan for our lives.

Over a two-week holiday break from Bible study, I pondered over new things. One being which Bible study to attend for the new year. Praying over things, even something as small as which Bible study, helps bring clarity. Our vision aligning with His plan navigates our future with purpose. His purpose. His calling. For. Our. Life.

Each week, I meet with a group at my church. The group is called MOMs. You may know of a group similar to this called MOPs. Maybe your church has one or you've heard others talking about it. MOMs and MOPs basically are the same. Only difference: MOMs is geared towards mothers with all age children, MOPs is geared towards mothers with preschoolers only.

One day out of the month at MOMs we meet as a large group for breakfast, worship, fellowship and have a speaker. The other weeks we meet for Bible study.

Semester to Semester - August-December January-May - we start a new Bible study. Leaders often change semester to semester. I even led one semester.

The church has a length approval system for the studies. We might not always know in an orderly fashion which study will be offered. What's the chain of command for approval? I don't have a clue. Trust. Believe. Wait. Patience. Is the name of the game.

Not knowing the Bible study or even the leaders, I begin praying. Praying for God's direction.

I even flipped a coin.

You see there's usually more than one study offered:

A Bible study study (I typically do): Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer ect.
L3 (I have done this once before): a study tool my church offers to help you learn how to read the Bible. A different passage of scripture reading allotted each day. Then you journal, examine, apply to your life and pray.

Proverbs 18:18 Flipping a coin can end arguments; it settles disputes between powerful opponents.

Tails-my answer was L3.
Heads- His answer was the Bible study.

When I flipped the coin it landed on tails-L3. Victory rein in my heart. His voice even louder over my soul, "I already told you, Ashley. You will attend the Bible study."

I wrestled with Him, "Are you sure, Lord?"

L3 would be an easy out for me. 2016 is a big year for my family. My husband and I both turn 40. We will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. Our oldest daughter plans to attend a University in the Fall. Adjusting to an only child feeling left at home with my youngest. Somewhere in between, I want to conquer a passion of mine, finishing up publishing my second book.

L3 has a cool blogger/writer in there-
My heart longs to sit by her. I want to sap up knowledge being around her.

L3 has a leader I know. One I adore her leadership.

L3 my mouth waters when I pass their room. That's how it usually is with what we want or think we need, right?!

An announcement email came confirming the new study/leaders. God confirmed loud for the last time, "Do the Bible study." A giddy feeling, like a kid, rushed over my body. I heard Him. Bible study here I come. The study will be one of Kelly Minter's, What Love Is. I can't wait. I am so happy I listened.

Proverbs 16:33 We may throw the dice, but the LORD determines how they fall.

I don't recommend flipping a coin with God. He does not want to argue with us. We are not His powerful opponent. He is the almighty powerful One.

Ways to help seek His vision for our life:

His word-the Bible
Conscience He built in us
Counsel from other godly people
Prayer

We've got to look, listen and be alert for His calling over our lives.

Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

Do you look?
Do you listen?
Are you alert?

Seeing The World As A Non Facebooker

People claiming not having Facebook keeps others out of their business.

This makes me chuckle.

Facebook isn't how non Facebookers perceive it. 

There are boundaries. 

Every ounce of your personal business isn't poured out. 

Manage how openly you share. 

Choose what not to share.
Friend who you wish.

A few weeks ago, my Bible study class started a new study called Breathe by Priscilla Shirer. My precious Bible study leaders followed their heart in the direction the Lord called them in choosing what study to do next. The Breathe study is base off the Sabbath, not necessarily on Sunday but allowing yourself margins and boundaries daily to create tranquility for our soul. 

One of the first exercises suggest writing anything that holds too much control over your current season of life. I wrote, social media. Out beside social media, I continued writing, "I really don't like writing social media. I feel God uses me through social media." One of my natural strengths is balance and boundaries. When the study kicked off I wasn't sure it would be worth much.

The month prior, I held an online art auction. The money raised I donated for liver cancer research. My heart was bulging out of my chest claiming a break from facebook, social media. When we openly talked in class about the first exercise. I spoke up about social media. Most of the class could relate. We all agreed to challenge each others limit of social media intake. 

The first week went well for me. The second week one of my leaders suggest deleting the apps from our phone. It's been nice breaking free. The world through non-Facebookers eyes is amazing. I can sit peaceful at a red light. Usually, my thoughts race knowing what status to post next. Don't get me wrong. Facebook is a great outlet/platform geared towards being a writer, blogger, artist and photographer. The time away God is using to speak to my soul. 

He is realigning my time. 

How my time is freeing:

carpool is not spent scrolling FB/IG

I don't wake up scrolling social media

my mind is not constant spining for the next status or the next picture I will post

how many people liked my post/picture

Things I've done instead:

deleted old emails

deleted old pictures

deleted apps

organized apps

conversed with God deeper

take fewer pictures

relaxed my mind

enjoyed a day tailgating with friends/football game

My Bible study has a prayer wall. Once a day from my desktop I check in, then scroll through my home page and share blog post. Outside of this I am enjoying the freedom from Facebook.

Things God conversed with me:

stop taking so many pictures

a steadily check on social media is exhausting

listen to the season of your life
foucus on your writing
organize your writing skills

you've grown as a writer

the time will come for the final edits on you second book, even if it's after the first of the year when you mentioned to your audience/readers/platform it would be ready late fall

He used exhaustion from the online art auction to pull me in closer to Him. "Listen to what I have to say." Facebook is reminding you of everything you don't have. The walk closer to Him is reminding me of everything I already have-own, blessed with, growth, enjoy, born with, acquire etc. 

Discovering a social media break was worth the study to me.

When I wait you strengthen my heart. Psalm 27:14

How to know if you maybe in need of a social media break:
tired of seeing everyone's pictures
check it first thing every morning
look at it throughout lunch and dinner
don't hear what others are saying around you
sudden urge to take pictures of your every move
urge to show off only your highlight moments in life
urge to show off material possessions

My encouragement is to take a break.

Delete the apps from your phone.

Be free.

See.

Major Mommie Goof

Having pet peeves, I believe keeps us in check with our maker.

The last Bible study for the semester was yesterday finishing up Breathe by Priscilla Shirer.

Only, I didn't go.

It's been eight years since I had a middle school age child. Think of eight years ahead putting a highchair in your home after your last child. Think of your last child learning to drive eight years from now. Will you remember everything? Or will it hit you in the face beforehand?

"Exams. Wait. What? I am not ready for this."

6th Grade is wonderful. Great maturing time for the kids. As mine said the other day, "I like knowing no one's holding my hand."

Not giving exams a thought, I commit myself to a major "outreach" project with my friends at Bible study. Tuesday is my day doing life with other mothers. A repeating cycle of connection. A time to be around actual adults.

Postcards made.

Connect wall updated about the project.

Then it hit me. My daughter lay sleeping on the dining room floor next to me. She'd been studying while I made notecards on Quizlet for the next day's exam. A conversation on the way home from school reminded me "I will be done at 9 o'clock or 9:50 with my exam."

The next morning, I updated every one of my major goof.

My biggest pet peeve is saying I'll do something then something get's in the way. It can paralyze my soul feeling like a failure if I allow it.

While Bible study was in progress, I rest in His presence. Listening to His communication about this major goof, I was reminded we are not restrained from failing. Often these times are used for Him teaching us something, cleansing us and growing us closer to Him. Also, can be used for others around us to see, "oh they fall too". If my fall helps even one person relate, have at it, Lord. We all desperately need God and His mercy and grace in our lives.

Have you failed at something recent?

The enemy wants us to believe:

we are true failures
everyone will talk about
you are a total idiot
no one will trust you

Moving forward can be impossible if we allow the enemy to win.

If you goof move on. Listen for His quite subtle voice to still your soul. It is possible to move on.

The secret recovery of a failure is simple.

Cling to Him.

Cling to His word.

Listen.

Learn.

Move on.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

Let this be your year

Honoring room to breathe this Christmas season sounds awesome.

Right?

The day after Thanksgiving is a tradition. My girls are photographed by me. These photographs are then used for our Christmas card. In the years past, I've learned by Thanksgiving the cotton's picked for the year. Since cotton's been on my list of backdrops. We planned beforehand this year.

Can you believe it?

We planned.

The girls dressed in their cute comfy outfits hopping in the car. The camera sat on the charger. I bagged it in my black camera bag. In the driver seat, my bottom plops.

My husband mentioned the week before he saw cotton. I drove my car opposite from what he suggest. My mind knew where cotton would be. Forty-five minutes later, I pose the idea to my daughter, "call your dad". After the spill, "I told you where cotton would be." I turned in the first driveway. Both ways, I glanced a clear view. In the opposite direction, we head seeing cotton in no time.

I turned downhill a dusty road in front of "the best" cotton field. Giggling how the people across the street may run us off for playing in their cotton. Dust covered our toes as everyone slide out. The wind pushed hair in one's lip gloss and across their eyes. My trained daughters mandarin around cotton stems posing.

This year after Thanksgiving was relaxing. The Sunday after, I edited the picked pictures creating our Christmas card. Days later the Fed Ex carrier pulled in our driveway. My memory pondered, "what could he be delivering?" The carrier drove away. A box laid outside my garage. I opened the garage. My body leaned forward grabbing the box. The return address revealed where from the package shipped. I remembered.

Christmas.

Cards.

The only holding tradition of my family's is taking the girls picture and creating a Christmas card.

The girls are older now. This tradition might not always carry. A different season brings different things. Growing in a direction with being okay with seasons changing is awesome.

If you have not created a Christmas card for your family, let this year be yours to breathe. Be the change. Cards don't have to be created. There are things through the year we as the Murphy's don't do: beach trip at the end of school year, long trips during spring break, go to all the home college football games, etc. If I am honest, seeing or hearing those things can cause a raunchy feeling in my soul. I don't mean to, but it happens.

Please, if this year isn't yours, let it be.

Relax.

Enjoy.

Be free from the enslaved fast pace craziness. There is no bylaw saying, "You must send Christmas cards to be valued, be in the loop, or to have it together".  Rest in His goodness.

Kiss the cards goodbye.

Set a new trend.

Sabbath.

My presence will go with you and I will give you rest. Exodus 33:14