Festering Something Old

Strapping my seat belt across my chest, I drove to the church.

All the parking places in the upper lot were full. The sun beamed in my eyes as my car wind down to the lower lot. A parking space was vacant next to the stairs. I parked. Each knee bent climbing to the next step. A small group of older women stood at the top of the stairs. As I smiled, “hello” pushed across my Chap Stick lips. Each woman said, “hello” back.

Once inside the church, I walked past the information desk. A familiar face sat behind the desk. From across the room, we exchanged smiles.

Around the corner, classrooms line a narrow hallway. I stopped at one of the open doors. My Bible study meets in this classroom every Tuesday morning. In front of a chair, my feet stopped. The green purse on my shoulder slid to the floor. While the Bible and study book in my hands released into the chair. Not many of my Bible study partners were in the classroom yet. I spoke to the ones who were. Then made my way outside the door. Where I stood greeting those entering our classroom.

This particular week a new Bible study was underway. We watched a video, listened to worship music while journaling a few thoughts. For my comfort, I sat on the floor next to my chair. Once the music was over, I remained on the floor for the rest of the class period for group discussion. The topic of discussion was something along the lines “What’s something you feel God’s protected you from?”

My mind spun in all sorts of directions: not getting hurt when I drove my car through a ditch on purpose in high school, the misery of walking out the grief process when my father passed away, sparing my life from liver cancer.

My thoughts stopped there.

Mainly, because a woman in class started talking.

My back pressed against the wall.

From across the room, I continued listening to her response, “The Lord protected me as a teen. He guarded my heart against sexual impurity.”

My heart stopped.

I looked down.

Why would she say that? She knows my story. Can we not talk about something different?

The gut-wrenching knife poked in my stomach. Each breath forced it to turn deeper. The enemy did what he does best. He trapped me in the mindset “how could she”.

Class soon ended. I gathered my things bailing out.

Weeks went by.

My finger dragged upward on my phone screen. This navigated the news feed on Facebook. A sponsored ad appeared. My eyes were intrigued by a non-profit organization. Their outreach  encourages young unplanned pregnant moms.

The day in Bible study popped back in my head.

The Lord whispered, “I saved you too!” Then He continued speaking over my soul. Processing our conversation, on a notecard, I jotted down these words:

You may have been saved from places out of protection years ago. I have been saved too by going places most did not. We can all be safe. We can all be saved. Different paths. Different journeys. One true God.

See, I was that girl one day, pregnant unplanned. I was a pregnant teen at the age of 18 straight out of high school. My doctor engaged the subject of abortion when he told me, “you are pregnant”.  No way was I having an abortion. Although I accepted Christ as an early teen, not only did I have sex out of marriage, guilt and shame smothered many years of my life after giving birth. 

Until in recent years, He really revealed Himself to me through a friend saying, “shame is not of God”. He began restoring my soul mustarding those words over me. “Shame is not of Me.” I am happy to say my daughter is 20 years old this year.

Back to the day in Bible study, the enemy had fun festering something old. He knew right where he could attack me and did. My true God who rescued me once will again and again. He reminds me, I am His, I am loved, nothing of His is a mistake and by grace, He reigns forever life over me.

In him, we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, Ephesians 1:7-8 NIV

In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. Ephesians 3:12 NIV

What He does for one He does for all.

Saved by grace.

Is the enemy festering an old sin of yours causing you to feel less than? 

Causing guilt to linger? 

Shame?
Are you someone who had a child at a young age? Out of wedlock?

*This post originally was entered in the Spring for a chance as a guest post on (in)courage blog.

You are awesome. You are loved. You matter. Please share this post with a friend. Be the light.

To read more of my personal story of my pregnancy read my first book, Daddy's Briefcase. 

I want to write a book

I want to write a book. Now what? What advice do you have for me on getting started?

Three weeks ago, I published my second book Under Contract: Life in the Middle of Dreams. Since then, the response has been wonderful. I've been so blessed to have people come alongside me to cheer me on, gain readers and the list goes on. If you haven't already visit Amazon to purchase a copy and or leave a review.

Publishing a book triggers questions for inspiring authors. This excites me. I want to share my personal intense journey in hopes of helping others. Although everything from start to finish can not be shared in one blog post, I've prayed about how to answer the one question mentioned above, "What advice do you have for me to get started?" This is a very board question. One a book could be written about. We all know we have to start somewhere. So here goes. A good starting point for an overall view of knowledge of writing a book.

If you've known since you were a child you wanted to write a book and or people tell you often you should write a book. Then those two are good leverage for a starting point, but not to be mistaken for you should or the only reasons someone should. These two can be used by God to trigger work for His kingdom. Yet the timing could not be just yet. Knowing this, never give up. Write. Write some more. Read. Read more. Brainstorm. Pick a topic. Tell a friend. Pray. Believe. Trust. Press forward. If you've been called to write a book doors to complete the project will eventually open.

You will hear, create your brand, create your voice, and build a tribe in order to write a book, get published and then successfully have sales. These can be done by:

a blog
blog daily
vlog
vlog daily
make videos often
Twitter
Instagram
Pinterest
Facebook
email list
join a writers group
etc.

Although all of these are wonderful, an inspiring writer is sure to become overwhelmed trying to tackle all trying to gain author status. As each child's personality is different, each writer is different. What works for one writer's personality might not be good for the next. Focus on what's good for you personally, you alone. What is time manageable for you? The moment you feel overwhelm back away. Slow down. Pray. Ask God to show you what's natural for your life. If it's only two from the list, then that's awesome. If it's five or all then great too. There could even be some not listed here. These just came to the top of my mind. The overall point is run with what works for you. Just because you see a successful author brand themselves through Instagram, email, and daily blogging is not what's going to make you the same successful author or any inspiring creative person whether it is music, artwork, housewife, married woman or even your health status. Horn in on your daily prayer life, your relationship with Christ and ask for His direction for you personally. Run with what He communicates to you. Be confident. Why work so hard to fit in when you've been called to be set apart. 2 Corinthains 6:17.

Here is a list of things to keep in mind about writing a book:

- Will the book be fiction or nonfiction? One idea is all it takes. Love the idea you aim towards, because you will grow tired along the way. Say "I do" until the end. Day after day, things can tend to grow boring. You will want to bail at some point, give up, don't. If you say "I do" don't bail. Great rewards at the end. I promise. If your writing has characters talk about them. Be prepared to share what your work of progress is about. Build up curiosity.

- Have a notebook.  Keep an organized notebook to your liking. Keep handy. Even next to your bed. Night time gains great writers. I wrote my first book, Daddy's Briefcase, in the late hours of the night.  Warning, you will not remember in the morning. Keep as many of your notes in one place, a notebook, or it's going to get crazy. If you tend to write on a slip of paper here and there transfer to you notebook or tape the slip of paper in you notebook. Notebook. Voicemail. Ipad. Iphone. I Notes.

- Time management, manage your writing to fit your schedule, some write working full time, some write while home with their kids. Me personally, I've written both of my books, Daddy's Briefcase and Under Contract around my families schedule. I am married, mother of two girls who are eight years apart. Sacrificing ounces of your time adds up. Try to write every day. There will be days or weeks you take off. Don't be alarmed. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

- Writing a book can be comparable to having a baby. Researching. Planning. Writing. Creates laboring pains. You may even cry. One good thing is the book isn't going to cry. Like a dogs not going to talk back but they are still children. A book is your baby. It's fun the day of delivery, release day. Then the true work begins when everyone's back to their regular schedules. The pain you've been feeling, can't be compared to the joy that's coming. Romans 8:18

- The creative process is all yours. View other's work to inspire you. Go to the bookstore. Look at books. Look at books you have at home. Study the cover. Is it shiney or matte? Which do you like? White pages? Cream pages? Styles of writing? Which author grab your attention? Warning, don't compare your creativity to others. It's a trap to instant failure. You must seek the Lords guidance and create what only you've been called to.

- Not everyone writes an outline. I personally did not write an outline for either of my books. Others I know have not as well. Then I know others who have. Kinda like some can go to the grocery without a list and come out with all intended saving loads of cash. While some go by a step by step list to accomplish the same task. What works for one doesn't always work for the other.

- Write what you would like to read. This was done with my second book. Verse novels have grown to be a favorite read of mine through the years. It got to the point I was looking for a fresh, clean, family-oriented, faith-based, etc. verse novel. This type of verse novel did not exist. With these desires, the Lord opened a door for me to write one myself. I have a video on my facebook page about this very topic. It's under the Under Contract album.

- Editor + Proof reader. Value these people's time. It will take just that, time. Be patient. Work on something different while you wait. Make bookmarkers. Design book cover. Create a Goodreads account. Sign up for an ISBN number if your printing company doesn't provide or if you want full rights of you book. Apply for a Library of Congress Number. Think of marketing plans. Type copyright page. Type author note page. Type Acknowledgements page. Check print prices.

- Think of publishing early on. Will you self-publish or traditional publish? Self-publish is you holding rights to your book while doing all the work yourself. Basically, self-publishing is like owning your own business because technically you are. Traditional would be with a publishing house which typically hold onto certain rights. You will need to write a query letter and wait for acceptance from book agents. Rejection does happen. Rejection does hurt. Continue on until your print needs are met. I traveled the Traditional route sending out query letters with my first book. All response where rejection letters. I moved on after a certain time frame towards self-publishing. Self-publishing to some degree is easier this day and time. Even so, say 5 years ago. Remember, lots of people want to write books too. The time frame to write a book, edit and publish will take longer than you think. My first book took me 5 years and my second book took 3 years. Reminder John Grisham self-published his first book.

- Think about: book theme, writing style, voice. You might not have all the answers at first. They will come. Start somewhere. Start writing. Get the first few thoughts out on paper. You can always back up, skip over or delete. There will always be a first draft. You can handwrite this or type in Word or something similar. When it feels off, it's off. Trust your intuition, always.

- Not everyone will support you. Find a trusted friend to bounce ideas off. Some will make you feel your writing is not good enough. So don't tell yourself it's not good enough. It is keep moving on. Whatever you do work heartily for the Lord, not men. Colossians 3:23

Writing can be fun one day. Then another day it can be torture. Press on. Write until it feels natural. Then when you're not writing you will have waves of anxiousness. Write again until your project is complete. Don't stop what the Lord started in you.

Write the book you've been dreaming of writing.

Did you find this helpful?
What questions did this trigger?
Would you like to hear more about writing?

Your comments, shares, and reviews are gold. Thanks for reading. I look forward to the next blog post. Hope you have a wonderful day. You are love! May this post be a light for any project you are working on. It doesn't have to be a book my friends.

You may find this post Answer Two or More helpful.

It's not about the money

Thinking of happy days in all the years of parenting will melt a momma's heart.

One of the happiest days for me personally as a mom is the day I watched my oldest daughter walk across the stage receiving her high school diploma.

For the reasons of big accomplishments as a parent seeing the fruit unveil before your eyes. All the early mornings off to school, standing in line for uniforms, school supplies, lunches, school functions, dances, class parties, the no's, the yes', who is that you're talking to, "this is how we", the countless projects, tutor requirements just to make it through a class, field trips, driving test, drivers ed, sports, Friday nights, 5th-quart parties, "I am sorry, I said No!", sleepovers, awards day, report cards, grades, books, papers, chapels, sick days, etc. all tied up in one big day, graduation.

Then you move on after graduation day. The next question people ask you as the parents as well as your child, "Oh, what's your major?" Kinda like when you marry it's, "When are you having kids?" Then you have a kid and it's, "When are you going to have another one?"

In my families case, my oldest daughter's career path is education, elementary education, "teaching".

When you respond to others upon their questioning, "what's your major?" And you say very proud and confidently, whether it's me, my husband or my daughter herself, "teaching". In most cases, automatical you see the person's nose start to cringe. It's the most disappointing response. Then cringe turns into, "Oh, I could never do that", "I can't believe her dad agreed", "hope she plans to find a second job", "hope she finds a rich husband", "kids are so mean these days", "she can't survive doing that".

If you haven't already take a seat. Come in a little closer. Imagine us sitting at lunch together. That's how personal I want to be with my readers. Friends. Lunch buddies. Real with each other. Talk about anything. Be you. Be me.

Now, think for a minute. What if the responses shared above were about your child, grandchild or you? Are you with me? Are you feeling it? It hurts! Doesn't it? Point blank dog-on hurts. I know how my child was brought into this world. I know the sacrifices her dad and I made daily to raise our daughter, a daughter of the true King.

And that's just it, a daughter of the King's. All the responses, words or cringes, in His love can't touch what He's called His child to accomplish here on this earth to further His kingdom. That's true freedom my friends knowing words, money, nor a career does not define us. When we go places the Lord has called us He blesses us beyond what the world can and will or sees.

All the responses received by others in regards to a teaching career, we as parents have discussed with our daughter. Her awareness makes her stronger. It allows her to see His goodness in her life. It allows her to see the gift He instilled in her on a deeper level.

In a sense, when someone stands on the soccer sideline responding with such words, it hurts. It stings. Until my husband, myself or my daughter make sure our God size goggles are focused do we feel safe and secure. Because let's face it, in the world we live in we can be derailed in a heartbeat to question things just like others do. When our goggles are focused we see the beautiful picture of her life He has painted since day one. We see where she currently is trusting His plan most of all for her future. We replace hurts with His truth.

Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.” John 14:19-21

At the end of the day, she can rest assure, as well as us as parents, "I am doing what I love". He knows what makes us tick. He knows what makes us tock for the advancement of His kingdom. Passion.

It is with great joy, I share such personal matter we face currently every day in this season of our life.

Now the school year is coming to the end for your child, your child's teacher, your neighbor's kids, or your grandchild think of how you can bless a teacher. Preparing for this blog post, I thought of a time I heard teachers talking while on a field trip. They were not on the field trip as teachers rather parents.  Their honesty was shared about what gifts teachers wish not receive. So, I compiled those with other responses recently received of what teachers do wish to receive. As well I did my own little research. Please by no means hold this list as etched in a stone. It's simply a suggestion upon personal preference. If you are like me a little toggle of the brain can get us going when making a decision about gift giving.

List of gifts teachers are most likely blessed by:
games for classroom
Qube cart
wooden door hanger
beach towel
grading stamp
adopt a sea creature
charity for art schools
personalized thank you notes
books for classroom
donate something to the school in their honor
provide lunch for a day of choice
cook dinner, drop off or put in school frig
electric pencil sharpener from school supply house
handwritten thank you notes from kids
handwritten encouragement notes
nothing with the word teacher on it
volunteer in the classroom- sharpen pencils, book orders, recess duty, make copies, deep clean classroom
plants
flowers
tickets to a sports event or concert
new classroom scissors, pens, post-it notes, easel, globe, audio learning set
one gift from the class
gift card- teacher aid, restaurant, bookstore, spa, gas, grocery, iTunes, Netflix, carwash, visa gift card, salon, movies, water park, office max, massage, pedicure, ice cream, coffee

Things teachers request not to receive:
anything with apples on it
coffee mugs
bath soap, gels, and lotions
candles
homemade treats
ornaments
cash from individual student
nothing with your child's picture on it
if you saw it on Pinterest so did everyone else
nothing with the word teacher on it

As we give to Him, He gives to us. Luke 6:38

Some may still be thinking, "but we've got to make money." Rightly so, God grants us the wisdom to have means to provide our daily essentials. He also grants us wisdom and knowledge to have faith. So with this, I trust (1 Timothy 6:8-10,17, Ecclesiastes 5:10, Proverbs 11:28) my daughter's obedience to God's calling on her life she will be blessed beyond. As well as her contentment in Christ allows her to know money doesn't bring true happiness. Philippians 4:11-12.

A sign of discontentment is always wanting a little more. Our contentment is based on spiritual wealth, not material wealth. Money itself is not sinful but the love of money is leaving us to know power, wealth, and status lies with money. When we don't view money as our own, rather God's this opens the doors for Him to use us as He wishes. He knows our needs but also expects us to give generously. Proverbs 30:8.

As an added bonus here is a few guidelines to avoid love of money:
1. know your money will be gone one day.
2. content with what you have.
3. manage ways you get more money.
4. love others over money.
5. love working for God over money.
6. sharing what money you do have.

Psalm 107:8-9 He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.

In John 14:14 Jesus says, "You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it."

In your name Lord, I ask according to your character and will over Katelyn's life she be granted with your blessings. Because I know she is sincerely following You while seeking Your will. You will grant them according to your plan.

I am reminded of an article my daughter recently posted on her Facebook page. In summary it states: a career in teaching is the starting seed of all other careers. Our teacher are what holds the future of this world. The job you love a teacher helped you get there. Remember the elementary teacher you liked and did not like they are why you are who you are and where you are today. A love for learning overrules smart. Smart teachers sharpen minds and inspire learning.

My encouragement is, let's celebrate with those who's career path is not something "we could do". Because really when we take our eyes of self and place them on others there's so much beauty and freedom found. We can rejoice with their calling. We can celebrate with them. We can encourage them. Or maybe you're the one with a career path people's nose cringes at. Listen for His truth over your life. Maybe this is a reminder of encouragement whatever path you are on. Stay true to who you are in Christ. I would love to hear from you or even love if you shared this post with friends.

Bless a teacher today, they are blessing you by teaching your family member.

On the way to Ferry

Donating anything brings new life.

I mean anything.

A N Y T H I N G

Holding tight to things no longer used clogs the system of giving.

Sunday, March 6, 2016, I did a routine scroll on my facebook newsfeed. This normally consists of two scrolls. Long enough seeing what others are doing. Since before Christmas, I pledged not to overspend my time on Facebook.

The first post I came upon that afternoon stopped me in my tracks. No need continue scrolling. A mother posted in a closed group, Tessa Fibrolamellar Journey, "the call came". For the past two years the mother, Dawn, posted updates in regards to her daughter on the liver transplant list. The family lives in Vancouver, Canada.

Canada to me is exciting enough!

Vancouver.

Yea, that's exciting.

Tessa's journey consisted of battling liver cancer, Fibrolamellar. The same type I battled 16 years ago. Tessa is a teen. Age 15. Her mother and I met in the closed group, Fibrolamellar of the World Unite, a couple years ago. One year, I drummed up individual blog post bringing awareness for the month of October. For "our" type of liver cancer. Dawn happily jumped on board sharing her daughter, Tessa's, story with me. Although, I've not had direct in-person contact with Dawn and her daughter, they were eager to share her story. That is one thing about the Fibro family. We stick together.

You can see the post from October 2014 HERE.

"THE CALL CAME. On our way to ferry!!!!!!!!!!!!"

My eyes bolted over to the comments. Reading everyone's comments was beautiful. Joyful. Encouraging. Praising. As I continued reading confirmation came. Several comments down someone ask if it was for a transplant. Dawn replied, "yes."

The most exciting three letters.

Y E S

Quickly, I screenshot the original post. When I posted the picture on my Instagram and Facebook page words of celebration indicated the powerful moment for this family. I even shared Tessa's story with each of my family members. Prayers. Stories like Tessa's you know is all God. His timing is perfect.

From there it was hours before the next update came.

At midnight, she was rolled to the E.R.

The next morning, I checked for an update. Things went as planned. Hours progress in recovery. Then ICU. The transplant was done. Just like that! Done.

Until, late Monday afternoon, Tessa's mother urgently updated. She was rushed back to the E.R. Test results showed the new liver wasn't functioning properly. Her blood was clotting. Her body was rejecting the new liver.  My heart began racing. As I am sure her mother's was. Being in the Fibrolamellar group for nearly 5 years now, I've seen every twisting story. Prayers relaxed me to a state of calmness.

The next time an update came in Dawn basically stated Tessa was placed on top national priority for a new (second) liver. Until then she was in a coma. Life support would carry her until a new liver was found. By midnight the update was a new liver transplant was underway. Already that fast, a new liver.

The next midnight Tessa was heading in the right direction. Early test, blood work, and a sonogram indicated this liver was a good match. The breathing tube came out. Bath in bed. Tessa even asked for her mascara. Afternoon, PT had her walking. WALKING.

Sister was on the road to recovery. Such a brave girl. She was soon moved out of ICU. A big plus.

I don't know if you've ever been in ICU personally. I have. It's the loneliest place a person can be. Her mother even stated nights in ICU were hard on Tessa. She was anxious at night.

This past week, 15 days into her new liver, Tessa was discharged from the hospital.

Tessa and her mother will stay in a YANA apartment while she visits the hospital weekly for regular check-ups.

Tessa story is so inspiring. She kicked liver cancer to the curb.
(Update: since starting the writing process of this blog post Tessa's back in the hospital. She had a great Easter weekend with family. Then became ill. A few minor problems are being worked through. She is a fighter. This goes to show having a transplant isn't an easy task at all making her story even more encouraging. Here's the message I left for her: Please tell her she is a true hero. Brave. Strong. Courageous. Young. Lady. Who will overcome each step of this to tell the world what she has endured and lives will be changed one by one by her strength. She is an amazing trooper. My heart goes out to her. Lifting her up in the most encouraging way. Cheering. My. Tessa. On!!!!! #mighty #healer #strong #powerful)

Please pray with me as her and her family wait patiently as her body adjust to her new liver.

In honor of her, I'd like to ask everyone to be an organ donor. It's easy. Save a life.

Not sure what to do. Watch this video. Click here.

Donate today! 

Everyday Life Everyday Passions

Find ways to fit passions into everyday life.

Start by asking, "Is the to-do list more of things for family or more of passions?"

Asking hard questions, like such, sometimes can be a hard task. Further more, it can be an awesome time finding the quietness in daily converses with God regarding our questions. This can be done at the workplace, driving, standing in the coffee line or doing laundry. He speaks to us in more places than we'd like to think or give Him credit. Even in the shower, I often hear His voice.

Ultimately, conversing with Him provides answers to orignal questions. Questions often searched for answers along the way. Listen. Instead of blaming others around for why things aren't going the way we think.

One recent morning, I turned my iPad on while working on a small painting. My time was allotted in hopes to finish the project. Even though the buyer suggested "no hurry". I was in a hurry. Hurry is how I am productive. It's how I get the job done. The Ipad allowed me to listen to encouraging messages pretaining to writing while I painted. These messages are in a closed paid group called Compel offered by Lysa TerKeurst twice a year.

The night before, I jotted a to-do list. On the list painting was included with lots of other household family related things and other passion related things. Such as blogging, writing, editing, more painting etc.

When I noticed my time painting was up, I hurried downstairs from my studio. Each step, I heard God speaking LOUD and clear.

"It's more passion than family."

He was talking about my to-do list for that particularly day.

What! If I were using emoji's, I'd click on the face with two big open eyes, like what?!

The list laid on the end of the kitchen counter. I gradually walked towards it. My eyes wandered down the list. He was right. The list was more about my passions than my family. It clearly was right in front of my eyes. My hand pushed the list away. Backing away, I walked to my closet where I found my house shoes. Gosh, that sounds so old ladyish, "house shoes". But, I am serious, I went to get the shoes. They are tennis shoes. I wear these shoes only in my house. So that's why they are called house shoes.

While listening to His voice more, I begin doing household duties for the family.

He thanked me for listening. He told me, "I know you already know all this. I wanted to spend time with you."

Is He requesting your time?
Do you recognize His voice?

Listen while:
folding clothes
doing dishes
cleaning out pantry
making beds
going to the grocery
driving to work
on your lunch break
making lunches

My encouragement for you and I both, make our houses a home, make our houses a safe palace for others to come home. Balancing this with passion's can be tricky. I have no doubt He wants to carry out our personal passions. His quiet still voice helps balance each area of life.